Moonlight Rising
June 4-6, 2004
Split Rock Resort - Lake Harmony, PA

First off, I have never been so tired in all my life. I'd volunteered to help Ingrid out with the charity auction, but once I'd arrived, I saw that I had more time than I'd originally thought and agreed to do more in other ways to help out. This led to about 20 hours of sleep over a 6 day period, little time to eat, and absolutely no opportunities to get the writing done I'd intended. It doesn't mean, however, that I didn't enjoy myself. Far from it. I met so many wonderful people, mostly due to the absolutely wonderful PSUbrat, that there is no way this weekend could not be a success. I walked away invigorated, enlightened, and just damn pleased to have the opportunity to get to meet such a broad range of people. Ingrid, hon, I have absolutely no idea how you do it. My hat and everything else off to you because you, my dear, are the real deal. I'm honored to have had the chance to work for you. :)

I'll admit up front that a big part of the weekend is a blur. I didn't take any notes and took very few pictures, mostly because I was usually working. However, I can hopefully give some overviews to what I did experience.

Friday

We actually arrived very late Thursday afternoon, just in time to register, so we got to avoid the long queues for registration in the morning. The day started with a volunteers meeting, which was the time I decided I could do more than I'd originally said, followed by a quick jaunt through the dealer's room. I bought 2 decks of Buffy playing cards---one to keep (I collect playing cards from all over) and one to play with before heading out to stand in line for my Trio photographs. I actually didn't buy a trio picture. I got my picture taken with Danny Strong last year at DragonCon, so I opted to get individual pictures taken with Tom Lenk and Adam Busch. The person working the room introduced us to the actor when we went up, and would you believe it, when Tom heard my name, he actually said to me, "Oh, I have a relative with that name."

Well, I've never met anyone with my name before, though I have seen it on the odd occasion throughout my life. So, I smiled and joked in disbelief, saying that it's quite uncommon. His response was, "Not in Germany," which tells me straight away that he knows what he's talking about and not just yanking my chain. Anyway, the pic was taken and then it was Adam's turn.

I'll admit, I've never been a big Adam Busch fan. I didn't care for Warren, and though I have since fallen in love with Common Rotation's music, the prospect of seeing AB wasn't making me jump up from my chair in excitement. That's totally changed. He was completely charming and funny for our pic, walking up to me and shaking my hand, and then proceeding to lean up against my side at a 45-degree angle with his head on my shoulder that made me tip sideways. After giggling and joking back with him, we proceeded with the picture and I walked out of the room a new fan. What a guy. :)

The next couple hours were spent doing volunteer stuff, meeting people, and running around, until it came time to stand in line for my pic with James Leary. While standing in line, though, I got pulled inside to help as they needed someone to manage the line, and ended up watching the entire shoot for JL and Iyari Limon. It was fairly short, but the best part about it was a woman who'd brought her baby daughter Natalya. The little girl was probably about 6-8 months old, and the most adorable little thing. IL was first. Now, Iyari was wearing a shirt that had Oscar the Grouch on it, and Natalya was just absolutely mesmerized by the thing. IL held her for the photo, and then once the picture was taken (the baby just lit up for IL and the pic), she tried handing her back to JL for his but Natalya refused to go. In fact, she pulled the cutest face, scrunching up her nose as she clung to IL, and nothing JL could do could coax her away. It was completely adorable.

JL's and IL's Q&A's were immediately after, but I missed all of Iyari's and half of JL's. Ask me what he said, and the only thing I'd be able to tell you was that I was there. It was that much of a blur.

The fanfic panel I agreed to be on was immediately after JL's Q&A. I actually skipped out of the Q&A early to go find the room and hopefully catch up with the other panelists, dragging psubrat along with me. Since my online status has been so sporadic lately and I hadn't heard anything regarding how it was going to go, I wanted to talk with one or more of the other writers to find out how it was going to work. Well, it was scheduled to start at 3:45, but at 3:40, nobody else was even there yet. I was a bundle of nerves and begged psubrat to come up and sit with me in case nobody else showed up. One other panelist eventually showed, so up came psubrat (she was such a great sport about it! Thank you so much, hon!), and we eventually got started. We didn't have a set agenda, and just fielded questions from the room after introducing ourselves. I'm afraid that much of that is also a blur for me. I was a complete scatterbrain as I was so nervous; I totally hate being unprepared and I'm utterly awful at just winging it. So picture a hummingbird on speed and that was pretty much for the next hour. I was sitting at the end of the table, directly in front of the only door in the room, and joked that I was there so I could make a quick escape in case things got ugly. Thankfully, everyone was really nice and supportive (thanks mushmouse and guttersnipe!) and the hour went fairly quickly. Spikealicious had been slated to be on the panel, but before we started, someone mentioned that she'd gone to the emergency room earlier that day so we went ahead and started without her. She surprised us by walking in about 20 minutes from the end, much better thank goodness.

The opening ceremony immediately followed the panel, during which time they showed clips from last year's convention and made the announcement regarding Andy Hallett. All my best wishes go out to the man.

I had the cocktail party that night, so I ran back to the villa and freshened up and grabbed a quick bite to eat, so that I wouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach. Irishrose and I then went back to the main hotel, where we got the strongest drinks I've ever had (I ordered a gin and tonic, but I swear to god there wasn't any tonic in it). I didn't recognize anyone, so we just hung out together. I suck at approaching strangers, but it was OK. I eventually got to meet another volunteer who I'd chatted with earlier---the nicest girl named Jamie---and then we approached someone I recognized from asking questions during the fanfic panel. She was there with her sister-in-law, both of them from Alabama, and I have to say, getting to meet them was probably one of the highlights of my weekend. Funny, and so so nice. Every time I saw them over the weekend, I made a point of talking to them. It's just a shame you two live so far away!

All the guests except JM were in attendance, though poor Stephanie Romanov and Tom Lenk got pinned as soon as they entered the room. Tom never left the post he stood at until he managed to get away just before 8:30, and Stephanie never got more than 6 feet away from the door. Everyone else did the circuit thing, and Danny eventually made it around to our little group. He talked to us for a few minutes, standing directly opposite me, and then moved on to the next group of people. I turned to Irishrose to say something, but she immediately put her hand up to her nose to indicate that I had something on mine. Turns out that I'd just spent five minutes talking to Danny Strong with cookie smudge on the side of my nose! (Don't ask. There were yummy M&M cookies there along with toothpicks and I'd been making cookie lollipops ever since I'd finished my first drink. I only had two, but I told you those drinks were strong.)

We wandered off to get a photo with James Leary then before spotting the yummiest guy in the opposite corner of the room. I thought it might be Eric Kufs from Common Rotation, but I was nowhere near positive enough to approach him. I tried to get Wendy or Irishrose to go over, but they wouldn't. I even threatened to nudge Irishrose into him in order to have a reason to start a conversation with him, but for some reason, she didn't like that idea. I got it confirmed for me later that yes, it was Eric, and oh my god, is that man pretty.

The improv was after, in a room much too small and much too hot for as large a group as was there. James Leary was helping out with that, and sorry, but this is another blur for me. Between the alcohol and incredibly intense cramping, I was miserable by the time James had to leave and we all ducked out to get downstairs to watch StuntCocks.

It was well after 11:00pm by the time we made our way back to the villa. We proceeded to sit in the living room, eat chocolate, and talk about the day until well into the morning hours. I got my first real conversation then with our fourth roomie, the wonderful Jeanette *waves*, as well as mucho talking with psubrat and Irishrose. And then sleep.

Observations as a result of Friday:

Saturday

Saturday started early for me. After seeing so many kids around on Friday, I couldn’t resist calling England to speak with my own. Every time I call, Alex has a new word. The first thing he said when they put him on the phone was, “Ice cream!” Clear as day. Of course, as soon as the glee at hearing the word come out wore off, there comes the question, “Now why exactly is Alex saying ‘ice cream’ so clearly?” But oh well. He’s on vacation, too, I figure.

psubrat and I were slated to help with the auction that morning, so we made sure to be over to the main hotel in time for that at 9am. However, upon arrival, we learned that it had been postponed until 10:30, giving us some time for her to do some searching for S5 Alexis in the dealer’s room. I showed her the table where I’d bought the cards the day before, and she spotted one of the Spike figures. She opted to buy it, and then the dealer offered to make us a deal on the other one he had, so I went ahead and got that, especially since psubrat said it was such a good deal. Funny how the first thing more than $15 that I bought is the one thing Craig always told me not to get. He just doesn’t see the point in the figures and has discouraged me from getting them in the past.

PSUbrat and I were runners for the auction, which meant that when someone won, we ran to them with our little clipboard, wrote up their receipt, and instructed them how to pay. Let me tell you, that hour we were in there went fast. James Leary was helping Paul, the emcee, host the thing. It was actually good for him that we started later because he was just a tad hungover from the late night on Friday, and he ended up sitting for most of the auction. It didn’t stop him from being his usual funny and cheerful self, though.

I actually bought something myself at the auction. They had shooting scripts there, some signed and some unsigned, and I got the script for Beneath You signed by James Marsters. I was so excited about it…until the Fool for Love script came up about 3 auctions later. Damn it. No way could I justify getting both, especially since the BY one wiped out my cash and the ATM machine in the lobby was down until the afternoon. Oh well.

The last item up for bid (that we had time for) was a Spike/Clem picture signed by both of them. The bidding started to get a little high on it, and then Paul decided to throw in a kiss on the cheek from JL as incentive to get the bidding higher. That escalated into a bottom-groping ala ASH last year, and two women ended up getting at $400 each. JL was a super sport about it, though, even pulling out the hem of his underwear from his jeans at one point to show that he was wearing Calvin Klein’s.

We got sucked back into volunteer auction stuff after it was over, and found out that only half the stuff had been auctioned off. The rest of the items were placed on the silent auction at the charity table in the dealer’s room. There were so many good things---a Chosen script, DVD’s, posters, and the like. I just wish I had more money. And time.

I missed the Angel panel as a result, but I heard Stephanie was a trooper and carried it without Andy as best she could. The Buffy panel was fun, with some of the best responses sparked by a question regarding reality television. My favorite bit from the weekend came from Tom Lenk, when he was joking that Fox’s next endeavour was “Who Wants a Green Card?” After everything Craig and I have been going through, that tickled me to no end.

The first batch of autographs were immediately after, 1-400 for everyone but JM. PSUbrat and I sat around and talked while we waited for our turns. I’d purchased a Troika picture in the dealer room for them to sign, but because of my slight cash flow problem, I opted out of getting Iyari’s, Stephanie’s, and James Leary’s that day. I figured I got JL last year, and at that point, IL and SR didn’t really interest me. I don’t remember what I said to Danny or Adam, but I asked Tom about the relative with the same name as me, wondering if he was just teasing me about it, and he told me it was his great-aunt. So I have an old lady name. Great.

There was only a little time left in the day before the concerts for us as we were supposed to help cash out the silent auction. I’d bid on the American version of the Buffy game, as I have the UK version and was told the US one was much, much better. Turns out, they ended the auction early and didn’t need us, so we actually had time to go back to the villa and change at our leisure. I think that was our biggest window of free time (woo hoo, a whole hour and a half) the whole weekend. Oh, and I did get the game. Which officially meant I had to buy another bag for the trip home because there was no way all my stuff was fitting in the pilot case I’d brought now.

Common Rotation started promptly at 8pm, without any fanfare, and a whole swarm of people rushed the stage. I wasn’t interested in standing and killing my feet for hours on end, not with as much as we’d been working that weekend, so I opted to stay in my seat. However, from my vantage point about 10 rows back or so, it was kind of hard to see anyone except for Eric. What a hardship. The show was tight, the guys were right on the money, and though the sound left a little to be desired, I was just as blown away by them live as I had been by their CD.

That left half an hour for Ghost of the Robot. There were issues in the interim about people having to go back and sit in their seats. A line of defense was put in place to keep people from rushing the stage, but it wasn’t explained very well and many people took offense to what they didn’t understand. There was grumbling on both sides as a result---those who wanted to stand and kept getting ordered back to their chairs, and those who wanted to sit and were annoyed people wouldn’t listen to what they were told. So when Ghost finally came out nearly half an hour late, tempers were a little frayed.

I’m not going to lie to you about the show. This was the 5th time I’d seen the band live, and within seconds of them starting, I could tell that it in no way measured up to what I’d heard before. It was also the first time I’d seen James Marsters all weekend. Well, tried to see James. I couldn’t do it from my seat, so I got up and stood in the back of the room so that I could actually see what was going on.

We only lasted a few songs. Somewhere in the 3rd or 4th song, psubrat, Jeannette, and I decided to go back to the villa. We had stuff to do, and frankly, the show just wasn’t worth it for us.

I know the reports that are out there. Yes, James was drunk for the concert. He said so himself, and his performance reflected that. However, I’m not going to speculate on any reasons why it happened, and I won’t tolerate people doing that in the comments of my LJ. If you say anything I find offensive, I will delete it. The man has a personal life, one that we’re not privy to, and the least I can do---the least any of us can do---is respect that privacy.

All I will say that is, regardless of the events of Saturday night, I walked away from Moonlight Rising admiring and caring about what happens to JM just as much as I did prior to going in. This is a man with great talent and a profound commitment to pleasing his fans. But, he is just a man, with his own strengths and foibles. He will stumble every once in a while. We all do. Anyone who begrudges him for falling prey to human weakness---when there is not one among us who hasn’t done the same thing in one form or another in our lifetime---doesn’t understand the meaning of being a true fan. We support him, though thick and thin, without having a personal agenda, and without having unrealistic expectations. I’m not trying to explain away his behavior on Saturday---frankly, I’m in absolutely no position to be doing so---but I would hope that people who read the reports of what happened in the Poconos look at them with clear eyes. Everything has a reason, and we have no idea what his might be. After everything he has given us with Spike, the least I can do for JM is respect his right to be human. It’s the same I would do for any one of you, simply because respect for others is one thing I feel incredibly passionate about.

Sunday

Sunday started way too early for me, when I woke up at 6:30am unable to go back to sleep. I managed to keep myself going, though, as we had an early volunteer meeting. PSUbrat and I had agreed to walk around with the raffle tickets in the morning, trying to sell some more, but as she had to work with Julie at 11am and I had my photo op with JM, that didn’t last very long.

I’d originally seen that people were being lined up for their photo by ticket number, so I wasn’t worried about not getting there until just before 11am. We learned, however, that they’d already taken people inside, so ended up being a little further back than we probably should’ve been. No matter. That just meant we sat longer in the room watching James with everyone else as we waited for our turns. What a hardship.

James arrived about 15 minutes late, but in wonderfully good humor. It was obvious from the get-go that he was in a talkative mood, taking extra time to speak with each person, agreeing to certain poses like biting necks, and just being extra cuddly all around. There was even an adorable little girl who brought him a teddy bear that just made him melt. I have to admit, I was excited about seeing all this. I’d spoken to people who’d had their photos done on Saturday, and been told that it had gone even quicker than it had last year at DragonCon, so this was an absolute treat.

When it came my turn, I was introduced and got that lovely smile and handshake he gives people. As I step into his side (he was seated on a tall stool, making us nearly the same height for a change), I commented, “You have no idea how hard it is for me not to pet you.”

He looked at me with this quizzical smile, which prompted me to add, “My two-year-old son just got his first buzzcut, too, and I’ve learned it’s impossible for me to keep my hands off his head.”

James started laughing, shoulders bowing as he bent his head. “You do not want to know where my mind just went,” he said.

We were both giggling when he pulled me into one of his cuddle poses---left arm around my back with his right across my front so that his hand is splayed on my left hip. Then it was over, but as I was smiling and saying thank you, getting ready to walk away, James grabbed my hand to stop me, bowing his head at the same time.

“Go on, do it, do it,” he urged.

So, I did. And it wasn’t just a one-hand stroke. Nope, I went for two hand full massage, giggling the entire time, and then thanking him again when I was done.

We had a little bit of time until the Q&A’s, so I actually managed to sneak away to the coffee shop and get a bagel and water before getting back to the ballroom. The trio were their usual charming selves (I was so tired at this point, and coming off the adrenaline rush of my photo, so I don’t remember very much about specifics that were said), and then it was time for James.

I didn't keep track of the Q&A, but an excellent transcript was done by Alane and Laurie at BAPS and can be found here.

A good number of the volunteers were needed to work the autographs after James Q&A. James had to sign almost 700 items in just a few hours, while the rest of the guests were doing the last 300 (the first 400 went on Saturday). I spent the next few hours managing the lines between JL and IL, and speaking with a wide variety of people. Because we were needed for the con-goers, all the volunteers got their autographs from James at the very end. By that time, it was past seven, but Julie wanted to make sure we had a few extra moments with James to compensate for our work and having to wait. I was third in line, having to go behind two amazingly talented people who each had artwork to show/give him, so I was a little nervous about just having him sign my Spike figure.

I got my handshake and hello, and as he bent over to start signing, I said, "Thank you for letting me pet you." He looked up then, and after a second, recognized me from earlier that day. Laughing, he just shook his head and resumed to signing, saying, "I'm such a slut."

I laughed, too, and commented how petting him was really the only thing that met my criteria for the weekend. That earned me another look, this time quizzical, so I hastened to add, "My husband told me I could do absolutely anything I wanted to this weekend...as long as it's something I'm willing to repeat to my four-year-old daughter."

This tickled James and he laughed some more, saying, "Your husband is a smart, smart man." But then again, I knew that. ;)

And we were done. The volunteer party was a little bit after that, where everyone but JM was in attendance, and I finally got to talk to Eric Kufs, with much thanks to psubrat, as well as get a picture. :) Have I mentioned how petable the man is? I spent more time talking to people I'd met that weekend, though, before heading back to the villa (I didn't have tickets for the VIP dance). I flew back late the next day, and arrived back in California around 9pm on Monday.

Overall, huge mondo thank yous go to psubrat for everything she did this weekend. Without her, it just wouldn't have been the same. She was so giving of her time and such, that it's no wonder everyone loves her. ;) Also, thanks to Irishrose and Jeannette for being such wonderful ladies. I'm so glad I got the opportunity to meet you guys. :)

I could try and say something to everyone I met this weekend, but I would invariably miss someone and then feel bad about it, so instead, I'll just give a blanket thank you to everyone at MR this weekend that I talked to. There are corners of this fandom that can be quite scary, but so many of you ladies show me just what it means to be a Buffy fan, and for that I thank you.

Part of me lived in fear that attending cons would taint the fandom for me, and while it has certainly opened my eyes, if anything, it has invigorated me. I met so many wonderful people this weekend, people who have such great passion for what they do and are willing to do whatever it takes to do what they love. How is it possible to walk away from that kind of dedication and enthusiasm and not be affected by it? Time is a funny, funny thing. Before you know it, it's gone, and often you're left wondering what happened to it, why you didn't get done what you wanted to accomplish.

I left the Poconos absolutely dying to get home. There were so many reasons---to see Craig (he was rabid with attention when I got into the car; I think he missed me as much as I missed him), to return my focus to getting our lives organized, and most importantly, to get back to feeding my creative bones. While I was gone, Craig went and spoke with the local theater company, telling them I'm an actress (though I haven't been onstage since before moving to the UK, funny how having kids can put a crimp in that kind of thing), and getting me signed up. And I picked up my original work as soon as I got onto my laptop and got another five pages written in two days.

I'm a creative person; I've always been a creative person. I'm happiest when I'm doing something---performing, telling stories---that affects other people that way. I walked away from MR with more hope and determination in achieving my goals than I have in ages. Why? Because I saw people like Adam Busch, and Tom Lenk, and James Leary. People who love what they do and are willing to do what it takes to reach for their dreams. JM of course is in that lot, too, but since I've seen him before, that is kind of expected for me. I admire his dedication to his fans, how hard he works to make each and every single one feel special. His love for what he does comes through in everything he says.

But this was my first encounter with some of the other guests, and it was like a shot in the arm. In conjunction with how happy I am with our recent move, I feel like I can do anything. I just have to keep trying, to not give up, to not let the monsters win.

Really, isn't that what we all should be doing?